Iris Drabble
by pandafox
Summary: This was supposed to be based off of Iris by The Goo Goo Dolls. I just kind of listened to the song and this is what happened.


Dean lay in bed, staring at the ceiling. Sam had decided that he shouldn't hunt anymore, so he was in a motel room with bed, by himself. And he was lonely. Real lonely.

A thought occurred, but he quickly pushed it away. His angel friend was busy. He had important things to worry about. "Ugh...Cas..." Dean mumbled. He just wanted someone there with him, and Castiel sounded great.

Dean closed his eyes, hoping that maybe he could catch some sleep, but knowing better than that. Throwing his arm over his eyes, he felt the slightest movement on the bed. More than likely he was imagining things. But then he felt it again and his eyes snapped open. Sitting on the edge of the bed, shifting awkwardly, was Castiel.

"What the hell?!" Dean exclaimed, startled.

"I...thought I heard you call," Castiel muttered, "But when I arrived you seemed to be attempting to sleep. I must have been mistaken. My apologies."

Before the angel could disappear, Dean caught his caught. "Wait, no. I might have called you...Accidentally."

Castiel's brow furrowed, "I...don't understand."

"I, uh...said your name."

"That...would be calling me," His head tilted to the side in confusion.

Looking down from the angel's eyes, Dean realized that his hand was still on Castiel's arm. He quickly dropped it, chewing on his lip thoughtfully. " Are you busy, Cas?"

"I am busy wondering why you called..."

"No, I mean, were you busy before I called?"

Castiel shook his head. "I was simply...waiting. For something to occupy my time."

"We could hang out...or something. I don't know." Now that he was here, Dean desperately wanted the angel to stay.

"Okay. Let's...hang out..." The term sounded foreign on the angel's lips.

"Great." Dean shifted so that he was sitting up, head falling back against the wall. He sighed with relief. He had no idea what to do now, but at least he wasn't alone.

"Dean, what's wrong?" Cas asked, concern clear in his voice, overwhelming Dean with the feeling of someone actually caring about him. It was something he hadn't felt for months now.

Dean shrugged. "Nothing. Why do you ask?"

"You seem very 'stressed'. Which is common for you, so I try to ignore it," Taking no notice of Dean's offended look, Castiel continued, "It is more strong tonight, though."

"Well, yeah, I'm stressed..." Dean admitted. "Sammy left. I'm all alone now. I always fuck things like this up, you know? I always push people away or they get killed for me or because I didn't do my job and take care of them. Even my dad left. Didn't bother to let me know anything. I started the god damn apocalypse...I fuck everything up, Cas..."

Instinctively, Castiel's hand landed on the hunter's shoulder and he stared him in the eye for a long moment before speaking. "You are not alone, Dean. Not right now. I'm here."

"You'll leave..." The sharp pang Dean felt at the thought startled him. What startled him more was the urge to reach out and grab Cas, holding him there.

"Yes," Castiel said, not willing to lie, "I will leave. Eventually. But I will come whenever you call. And, if you prefer, I will not leave tonight."

Dean nodded, holding back tears and lifted his shoulder, nuzzling the hand that rested on it. When he spoke again, his voice was barely a whisper, "Please."

"Of course," Castiel nodded and, surprising both of them, Dean leaned against the angel.

"I don't wanna miss you, Cas..."

Hesitating for only a second, Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean and adjusted himself so that he was laying comfortably next to him. "I'm not going anywhere."

They were both quiet, Castiel still shocked at the vulnerability Dean was showing him. The angel stroked his arm absently. "Dean?"

"Yeah?" He looked up at Cas, questioningly, wet around the eyes, but no more tears forming.

"You are a good man."

Dean let his head fall down again, face hiding in Castiel's chest (and somehow that was comfortable; not awkward for either of them at all). "No, I'm not..."

Before Dean knew what was happening, Castiel pinned him to the bed, straddling the hunter and forcing him to look him in the eye. "Do not say that. You are Dean Winchester. You save lives on a daily basis. You helped prevent the end of the world. You said no to Michael. You fought for free will. You taught me right from wrong. You are worthy." There was a pain in his voice that Dean didn't recognize or understand, while he fought for to make Dean get just how truly good he was.

He stared up at the angel, all shock and awe. And suddenly, without thinking, he grabbed the trench coat and pulled Castiel down, closer to him, and pressed their lips together, softly. Cas froze, unsure how to react. Dean slowly pulled back, eyes closed, afraid to see the angel's reaction. He'd thought about this so many times, but never in a million years did he expect he would actually do it.

"Dean...?" Cas said, in a small voice.

"Yeah?" Dean breathed, opening on eye to see a very confused angel on top of him.

"What was...?" He trailed off, cocking his head to the side and staring at Dean thoughtfully. Dean remained as he was, clinging to the trench coat, one eye open, staring at Cas as he waited for him to say something, do something, anything to let Dean know if he'd made a mistake by acting thoughtlessly or not. He was just about to say something when Cas leaned down and kissed him back, with overwhelming gentleness, placing a hand against the hunter's cheek. Dean's eyes fell closed again and he slid his arms under Castiel's coat, holding him tightly. He flipped them so that they were both on their sides, staring at each other.

"Do you really think that?" Dean asked, in a small voice, "You think that I'm good? That I'm worthy?"

"Yes."

"I think you and Sam are the only ones that will ever understand me. Ever know who I really am...I get myself hurt sometimes on purpose, did you know that? Just to prove to myself that I really am here. That I'm alive...That this is real..."

Castiel just held Dean tight, staring into his eyes as he listened.

"But if you think I'm good, someone who really knows me, knows the things I've done...You've seen my soul and you really still believe that?" Cas simply nodded, "Then that's good enough for me."

He buried his head against the angel's chest, not loosening his grip on him. Within minutes he fell asleep, whispering for Cas not to leave. And when he woke up the next morning, strong arms around him, he knew that he'd be alright somehow.


End file.
